I automatically suspect any product by a one-named person. Madonna? Bono? The Rock? And now...McG, whoever that Hamburglar of a bastard is. I had to look up what else he did, the Charlie’s Angels movies? Ok, let him play there. But the Terminator franchise? Damn. Sad to say, I don’t think this is the most disappointing of the franchise. But there’s been so many fingers up in the Terminator’s prisonwallet since the second one, I don’t really care. Obviously nobody else does either. At least it’s a high-octane action flick while also ripping off Aliens when making Newt a little black girl instead because that’s just what they do.
FuturePlots! John Connor! IN the FUTURE...of 2018. The resistance is real, and kickin military ass despite, well, not having access to that military equipment and expertise anymore since Skynet took it all over but we gonna gloss right over that for now. In fact, why don’t we just gloss over the rest of the plot, too. It is an action extravaganza though, and yeah, some nice original Terminator throwbacks to tie it all together with totally not lazy storytellins. We still here though, so I guess the future MotoTerminators, WaterTerminators, and DildoTerminators have lost the battle once again! Look out for that last one though, they really have a singular goal. If you’re a guy, at least. Kinda 50/50 for the ladies.
For all the flack I waft here, yes, there are some cool action sequences and some fun playing with the Skynet Killbot Iterations. And always very cinematic looking, for sure. It is the equivalent of a two-hour music video commercial where McG got his start, except the music is muted and in its place is some rather predictable dialogue. The Director’s Cut adds a few minutes apparently, making it Rated-R instead of PG-13. Yippee. Apparently Christian Bale had to cash in some debts or something, not quite sure why he took the role here besides just to say fuckit and have some fun being the grim guy while NOT wearing a batsuit here? At least they properly typecast Michael Ironside as the ballbuster he is. So, movie positives! Otherwise, It’s basically like I am an unfeeling robototron with no feeling. I do not compute. 0000000000100011101012..system...fail
